Pour it out

Pouring out my heart right now where it is.

I love driving down the road at night thinking about how HUGE God is and how wonderful He must be to allow me to enjoy the night sky and the stars and to give me a moment of silence as I am driving along. I love reflecting in those silent moments on the goodness of the Lord. I noticed how quickly the trees and the houses and the shops rushed past me, how warm my hands felt as the heat blew gently from the vents to the left and right of my dashboard. I squinted my eyes at the brightness of the oncoming headlights against the dark. I listened to the steady hum of my engine and the faint whoosh of passing cars. I smelled the cranberries on the McAlisters sandwich next to me in the white and green checkered to-go box. I smiled slightly with the side of my mouth as I remembered deep and encouraging conversation with good friend, a sweet and honest spirit. I think I also enjoy the Lord when I am keenly aware of my senses and what is going on around me. I love reflecting on what I see, hear, taste, smell, and feel and thanking the Lord that all five senses are working and able to experience all that He has given me.

A thought on the crucifixion of Jesus:
Often we think about the death of Christ in a manner that portrays Him as the victim of the abuse, torment, and wretchedness of His accusers and betrayers. I mean that we make Jesus as a passive participant in His death, simply allowing man to exact their treachery on the sacrificial lamb. We make Jesus appear as a rag doll, beaten and bloodied against His will, shoved and tripped and spit on - all the while silent and accepting. While the beating and torture are accurate depictions of the death of our Lord, I have recently had a perspective shift on the relationship between Christ and His death. Jesus is God in the flesh, the Creator of the universe in the form He created, the powerful universe-forming spoken word in our likeness. He created the wood that pushed against His back and fashioned the earth metals that were melted and molded into nails that pierced His hands. He created the glands in the mouths of His accusers to be able to produce the saliva that was spat upon Him during His trial and transport. He designed the minds that plotted against Him and breathed life into those who used every breath to betray Him. I believe Jesus had much more of an active role in His death than we perceive. He was not a mere passive victim of the crowd's uproar, though He was, as Scripture says, like a sheep led to the slaughter, but He was completely sovereign even in the process of His death. He surely could have stopped the process at any time, but even before the world began He knew those who betray Him and cast lots for His clothing and still brought life to their great-grandparents, grandparents, their parents, and the sinners themselves, just as He brought life to me. He knew His death from the beginning and still arranged time and space in a way that would allow for it to happen, to reconcile all things to Himself. In this we see that it was an ultimate act of love, a move toward us by Almighty God to reveal His love for Creation. Praise be to God for His sovereignty in all things, even though I may not fully understand it or be able to ever explain it. Praise be to His Name.

A thought on resentment:
The only reason we are believers in the Lord and convicted to walk outside of sin is because the Lord did a mighty heart change in us by His power and His power alone. He gave us up to the desires of our flesh; our deceitful hearts pursue what gratifies selfish ambition regardless of consequence. Then, in an act of love, the Lord allowed us to hear His Name and He called us to Him. So why do we resent those who sin and betray us? Would we be any different outside of the love and mercy of Christ? Being a follower of Jesus brings heart change and consequently a change in our outward actions. When we resent, we are saying that we are better than those who do us wrong. Lets be honest - outside of Jesus, we are selfish and hateful and disobedient. Thanks be to God for the change. Let us forgive and love because we want to be more like Jesus and we want our hearts and our actions and our relationships with others to be an expression of God's love and how it has transforms our lives.

I saw an image tonight of two parallel lines. No matter how close they are, even if they are 1 billionth of a millimeter apart, by definition these two lines will never become one or even cross. I see these two lines as man and God when man chooses sin and his desires over God. No matter how "close" man gets to being as "moral" as he wants to be or as holy and righteous as he desires to be, if he allows any sin to reside in his heart, there will still be that tiny gap between him and the perfect God. Without true faith in Jesus and true repentance, we are like a parallel line running along side Him, so close but never able to fully engage Him or walk with Him deeply. Allowing sin to separate us from the Father by not accepting the blood of the lamb, we are forever without Him. Sin does not separate us from His love, for nothing can separate us from His love, but our sinful, bitter hearts must repent and trust the blood of the lamb to be sufficient to cleanse us from all unrighteousness; Praise be the Father for His mercy and grace. The Lord is sovereign over all things, and it is my desire to be free from sin and all unrighteousness so that I might engage Him deeply. He takes away the gap between the lines so that we might live with Him.

I pray that these words are full of truth, and if they are not, or if there is any part of this that is not 100% Biblical, please call me on it and correct me. Thank you, my friends.